What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up?

'Cause they wear their belts on their hats!

What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?

Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!!

What is the Turkey's favorite black tie celebration?

The Butter Ball

How does a Turkey drink her wine?

In a gobble-let

How many turkeys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one but it takes 5 hours

Did you hear about the X-rated turkey? 

It's served with very little dressing.

What do you get when you cross a turkey, the beach, and Broomhilda?

A turkey sand-witch

What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock!

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? 

The outside!

Why do turkeys eat so little?

Because they are always stuffed!

What did the turkey do in the Thanksgiving Day Parade?